If You Only Knew
by angels.02.music
Summary: Ignorance is bliss. But through ignorance you can lose someone you never accepted you had. Sam/Griffin, implied Creddie but def SEDDIE response to Spuffy4Eva’s PickingSides Challenge
1. Truth comes to bite

**This is my response to ****Spuffy4Eva's PickingSides Challenge**** :) I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**(PS. They're OOC in the prologue but not in the whole story. I just have to make sure that this builds up the story. So don't worry they're gonna be as in character as they will be on future chapters)

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**Prologue **

"I can't believe you sided with her!" I shouted at him, throwing the closest thing at me, which was a couch pillow. 'I'm your girlfriend! You're supposed to side with me!"

We were standing in the middle of my apartment. Being 18 and in college has its perks. One of them is that I don't have to live with my mom anymore. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. I managed to straighten myself up enough to get into a somewhat good college here in Seattle.

But that's beside the point right now…

"You being my girlfriend doesn't me I have to side with you!" He shouted back, obviously pissed.

"Yes it does!" I was holding back tears now.

"No it doesn't!" he roared. "It's your fault Sam! It always is! Why would I side with you if that's so?! It's unfair to Carly!"

At these words I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I ducked my head so he wouldn't be able to see my face.

"You still love her… we've been dating for 3 months and you still love her…" I whispered in a broken tone, trying to make sure that the pain wasn't evident in my voice.

"Nobody said that Sam." He said with annoyance evident in his voice.

"Nobody had to." I chuckled darkly. "You would listen to what she would say. Always accepting as it's the truth. This fight Freddie?? You haven't even asked for my side to it. Not once. You just accepted Carly's side as the honest truth and what exactly happened." I sighed and turned around, so that my back was facing him. My tears were flowing so fast that it's hard to hide anymore.

"Just leave Freddie." My voice cracked vulnerably in the end. "Please. Just leave."

I was just met with silence. But I could hear his footsteps approaching the door.

I sighed. "Leave your keys." I whispered. At my words I heard him freeze.

"Sam… I'm sor-"

I couldn't handle this. I cant handle his bipolar decisions. I can't handle his apologies. "Just leave!" I shouted at him, turning around and throwing another pillow at him.

He just stood there, looking at me. I probably looked horrible. My eyes were glistening with tears and tear tracks were evident on my face.

"Please." I choked out.

He just nodded grimly, finally accepting the fact that I didn't want to be around his presence anymore.

He placed his copy of my key on the counter and left, closing the door behind him.

After a few minutes of frozen silence and agonized sob ripped through me. I fell into the floor sobbing.

If only he knew…


	2. Who know's where

The next few days… you could say that everything wasn't normal.

I didn't do anything, but sulk in my apartment. I didn't cry, I didn't go out, I didn't talk to anybody at all.

Luckily it was summer vacation or else I would have done horrible in school and probably get kicked out. Can't risk that now eh?

I used to not care about school… well I never did, at least up until that 'incident' (as I have referred to calling it) a few days ago. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a goal. Then I wouldn't fell so worthless.

* * *

Right now I'm back here at the pond in the park, throwing pebbles at the water or a duck (hey it's pebbles, it won't hurt them bad), every once and a while I hit a human being they can go suck it up. Their pain from the pebble isn't much compared to the pain I'm trying to lock up.

"Here." I voice said from beside me. Suddenly a large cup of Blueberry banana Blitz appeared from under my eyes.

I looked up to see a somewhat familiar face.

"Take it." His voice sounded so alluring. And his face definitely helped too.

If this was any other usual day I would've just take the smoothie from the dude, but it's not a regular day so…

"I didn't poison it Sam." He smirked. Damn that boy has a nice smirk.

But smirk aside my defense picked up.

"How'd you know my name?" I frowned at him.

He chuckled. "Sam a pretty face like yours is hard to forget."

I blushed, but my stare didn't soften.

"Take the smoothie first. It'll cheer you up. And I swear I didn't poison it." He smiled softly.

At the time I couldn't handle the smoothie being so close to me but untouched anymore.

I snatched it form the dude's hand and started sipping. He was right though… the smoothie did somewhat make me feel better.

"So… I take it that you don't remember me?" He asked me after I drained half of the large cup.

I silently shook my head and kept on sipping.

"Griffin." He smiled. "I used to date Carly."

At the mention of Carly's voice I shut down again. I dropped the pretty much empty cup to the ground and looked back towards the pond… upon seeing a duck I picked up a small pebble from beside me and chucked it too hard it ended up hitting a random dude's ankle form the other side.

"Did I say anything wrong?" Griffin asked, worried.

I sighed. I guess I owed the dude. He did give me a smoothie and make my day somewhat better. It would've been nicer if he hadn't mentioned _her_… but oh well.

"No… it's just that you mentioned _her_ name…" I muttered.

"Oh. You mean Car-" I punched him in the gut before he could finish. "Ow. Sorry. I guess I deserved that." He attempted to smirk through the pain. I'm glad that my punches didn't hurt any less at the moment.

But I kind of appreciate his attempt at smiling though…

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked.

"Nope." I muttered. I may know the dude and he did give me smoothies but nobody can crack Sam Puckett.

"Okay then." He said airily. "C'mon." He said as suddenly he tugged me up to a standing position and started dragging me to the exit of the park.

"Hey!" I said shocked. Nobody who knew me would or _could_ do that. I was half amazed and annoyed at this man. It's a nice change to have someone play the stronger role. "Dude let me go."

He just chuckled and ran up to the exit of the park. Once out he led me to a motorcycle that was parked at the handicapped zone and let go of my hand.

He tossed me a helmet and started the motorcycle.

I smirked at him. "Borrowed?" I remembered how _she_ first met him. He "borrowed" Spencer's motorcycle.

"I actually own this thing." He smirked back. "Now put on the helmet then I'll give you a ride."

I raised my eyebrows at the helmet on my hands.

"Hey, it's the law." He shrugged. My eyebrows went higher at that. "I wouldn't want you to get hurt." He mumbled blushing.

That made me blush. He said it so differently than other guys do. He says it like he's embarrassed by it but he really wants to… like… you immediately know that he's saying it because he cares and not because he thinks you just should because you're the girl blah blah blah.

I smiled and put on the helmet and sitting behind him on the motorcycle.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Who knows?" He smirked at me and sped away from the park.

In the first time I days I smiled… somewhat feeling safe here with my arms tight around Griffin… riding through the town in a speed that surpasses the speed limit… on our way to the unknown.


	3. Broken Dam

**Warning: Carly likers please don't hate me for what's written below. It's a little (very) harsh towards Carly.

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"…so at my graduation I got firecrackers to go out at the stage, the perfect goodbye EVER." Griffin laughed as he jumped from bench to bench.

Somehow we ended up at the Seattle Waterfront.

"You did?! No way!" I said as I laughed so hard I almost fell out of the bench I was sitting on.

"No really. I did. It was awesome. I decided to let everybody get their diplomas though first. I think it's only right that everybody get their contract for freedom from high school." He grinned as he finished his last jump, standing right next to me.

I smiled at him softly. But then a light sea breeze blew and I shivered.

"Cold?" Griffin smirked at me.

"It's not supposed to be cold at the summer. How would I know to bring a jacket??" I said, annoyed.

He just laughed his hot laugh to accompany his hot self and shrugged off his leather jacket and then the hoodie under it.

I was suddenly caught at the way his hair was blown by the breeze and the way that the setting sun was hitting it. Wait… setting? Damn… how long have we been out?

But back to the point… another breeze blew through and his hair got unruly. He took his hand and made it run through his hair and I tried to stifle a slight sob/gasp. That action was so familiar to me it hurts. It hurts knowing that _he _was probably with _her_ too.

"Here." Griffin smiled at me as he handed me his hoodie. Suddenly his face turned grim as he saw my expression. "You alright?"

"Uhm… yeah." I cleared my throat then accepted his jacket. "Just fine."

I put it on and it could've acted out as a mini dress for me. It reached about half way up my thighs and was just comfortable baggy in my arms.

"Thanks" I whispered at him, with double meanings in my words. Thanks for the hoodie… thanks for the smoothie… thanks for taking my mind off of…

With those finally thoughts I burst into tears, crying harder (if possible) than the night that I told _him_ to leave. All of the pent up emotions that I tried to block from the past few days of my sulking came rushing out of me.

Suddenly I felt arms go around me. It wasn't the same arms, it wasn't _his_… but I felt safe and loved. And it's something that I haven't felt before. Something I haven't felt even when I was with him, because then I knew that there was always _her_. Now, it's just me, and this awesome hottie of a dude with his arms around me.

Not telling me a serious mound of lies that everything is okay.

And at that realization I decided to tell him. To hell with the fact that I just reunited and actually hung out with him today.

"Its… just… not… fair!" I shouted at his shoulder. "She always gets everything! She gets the grades, the looks, all of the guys… and him… she's always had him… even when I thought he was mine."

Griffin just sat there, rubbing circles at my back while I cried and told him everything that was pent up inside of me for the last few days… which was probably more than _he _knows I was capable of feeling.

"I mean… I should have realized it when Carly started acting differently towards him… when she started to distance herself from me… Then… then… the other night, she just told me as 'nicely' as possible that she likes Freddie and that I should back off… seeing as he was hers anyways… Saying that… that he still loves her… that I was just a rebound."

"Sam… you shouldn't listen to things like that… I mean…"

"No." I cut through what he was saying. "What she said was true. I'm unlovable. I'm nothing compared to her. She's always pretty, perfect Carly. Loved by everybody and anybody… I don't know why Freddie even bothered to take all of that crap of effort to even go out with me." I hiccupped.

"Sam… Sam, look at me." Griffin said softly as he lightly nudged me.

I slowly looked up to face him… his face looked grim.

"Carly is a bitch." I'm sure I reacted to that because he spoke in solid manner, cutting me off. "Don't even deny it Sam. Nobody deserves to be belittled like that. She doesn't care about anybody else but what she wants and how it makes her look."

I just looked at him silently.

"I mean look at me, I got dumped because I collect PeeWee babies. And because of that she thinks that it'll make her look bad so she dumped me. She doesn't even give a damn if I actually like what I'm doing or maybe I actually have a reason for doing so…" He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples with his other hand that wasn't behind my back.

"Why do you collect PeeWee babies anyways?" I asked him as I placed my head comfortably on his shoulder. I yawned as I saw the sun dropping and some birds flying lazily.

I could feel his shoulders shifting, so he could be looking at me. "You're tired." He said softly. "Go get some rest. I'll tell you the story tomorrow."

"M'kay." I muttered as my eyes started to drift close.

I felt him shift a little then I heard a jumble of words.

"Dude, I'm with… She's sleeping… at the Waterfront…"

I know I should've been worried when I heard this… but I was just so tired… and strangely… I trusted Griffin…

With that final thought I fell into a deep sleep.

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	4. His Familiar Hair

I opened my eyes to a low rumbling and the feeling of motion. My eyes flew open and I sat up abruptly. Gah. Mistake number one. Serious head rush. I clutched my head, trying to ease the reaction.

"Calm down, Sam." Griffin whispered. "It's just me."

I looked over to him (slowly) and saw him glancing at me through the corner of his eyes with an amused smile.

I probably still looked guarded because he started explaining.

"I can't let you ride on my bike asleep, that won't turn out so well." He chuckled lightly. "So I called my brother down to the Waterfront and now he took my bike home and I'm taking you to your place at his car."

"Ah." I said as I raised the back of the passenger seat so that it was now on a sitting position.

"Anyways, we're close now." He said as he made a turn.

I was going to ask him how he knew where I lived, when it clicked on me that we weren't anywhere 'close' to my house.

* * *

"You know a guy usually asks the girl if she wants to go out…" I smirked at him as he parked in one of the spots at a somewhat fancy looking restaurant.

"Now, where's the fun in that?" He said as he got out of his brother's car.

"I don't know…" I said playfully as I got out of the car. "The fun in not getting beat up? Hm… Yeah. I can't seem to see the fun in that."

"Touché." Griffin muttered as we walked in.

I couldn't help but grin.

* * *

You could say that dinner was fun.

Griffin and I ended up having a mini food fight, ending up with hitting the people around us with random pieces of food.

Saying that we almost got kicked out would've probably been an understatement.

* * *

"Okay… take a left there." I pointed to the next intersection.

Griffin turned left and I told him to stop when we were right in front of my apartment building.

"Do you want to go cliché and let me walk you to your door?" Griffin turned to me with a sly grin.

I rolled my eyes.

"I think I can manage." I said as I got out of the car.

"Hey Sam!" I turned around to see Griffin sticking his head out of the car's window.

"Yeah?" I asked, somewhat annoyed for being stalled from my comfy bed and amused.

"Can I at least get your number?" Griffin blushed lightly. That made me grin. Maybe…

I could feel my grin faltering a bit… am I ready for this already?

I pulled myself up together before he could notice. "How about you pick me up here in the lobby, tomorrow at 7... and we'll see."

He grinned widely. "7 it is."

I grinned back and made my way into the complex.

* * *

I opened the door to my apartment and scrounged my nose. Gah. What is that horrible smell?

I switched on the lights and saw my apartment as the cluttered mess it developed into for my last couple of days of coping. There were papers and books strewn across the floor, food wrappers, and old food, gross.

I guess I should tidy up, while I'm still in a good mood.

I began with all of the old food, trying not to puke as I threw them out and washed the plates and utensils and cups.

I cleaned out all of the pieces of tissue paper and food wrappers then looked back towards my apartment., clothes and random pieces of paper and books were strewn across the floor, the open door to my bedroom showed the somewhat similar situation there.

Cool. Clean enough.

I grinned as I jumped into my sofa and switched on my TV (after a bit of a fuss looking for the remote, stupid sofa cushions for swallowing it whole)

I looked for a decent TV show that's on at this hour at night but couldn't find any, then finally admitting that it's pointless and the cable was being stupid not having any good shows on I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then change for bed.

I walked out of my bathroom wearing my underwear and an oversized shirt, fully comfortable. I jumped to my bed and expected sleep to overtake me as quickly as it usually does.

But sadly, not tonight.

I lay there trying to get even more comfortable than I already am, willing myself to sleep. Why oh why does it have to be tonight? Don't bad-turned-good days usually end with you falling asleep quickly and peacefully in the end?

I groaned and threw a random pillow to the wall. Great, one down 5 to go. Hey, I like a comfy bed, and usually pillows = comfy.

I sighed and looked up at my ceiling. I don't count sheep, it never works for me, so usually I just stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep. But again, my mind decides to annoy the crap out of me by going through a different schedule.

I sighed and looked around my room, trying to find something to distract me to sleep, but then my eyes caught 3…4…5 pictures that were flipped around so that the pictures were facing the wall.

I must've inverted those sometime in my moping days.

My moping days… today was still supposed to count as one… but then Griffin came up with that smoothie. It was weird how he was able to make me forget what I was moping on so easily.

It's like that guy knew just the right way to charm a person. Huh, he's probably a mooch. I can't believe I'm going to hang out with him tomorrow. I couldn't say that it was a date… because technically it's not… is it? I mean today wasn't a date because it just happened… and tomorrow couldn't be because I initiated it, and Sam Puckett doesn't initiate dates.

Huh, stupid Griffin, making me initiate dates.

Ugh, stupid mind, quit thinking that it's a date. You're not ready for dates yet.

It's not like Griffin is rushing you into anything.

Griffin… his hot smile, his eyes, his… brown hair that's so familiar…

I grinned at my thoughts, my eyes finally closing, finally resigning to sleep.

**Next Chap would be an insight to what's going on at Freddie's side of the story. PS: yes it's a two way story :P There wouldn't be much insight to it if I let it stick to Sam's…**


	5. Voices in my head

**Freddie's POV, the night of the fight

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I'm walking back to my apartment back at Bushwell, to say that I was beyond pissed would be an understatement. The only problem is, I don't know to whom I should be pissed at right now.

My mind thinks that I should be pissed at Sam, she was blaming Carly for that fight, wherein Carly probably had nothing to do with it. I mean she's Carly! She doesn't go around fighting people, Sam does that.

A small part of me felt guilty because I might have been a little too harsh on her, but then again she deserved it for blaming it all on Carly.

But then, a slowly growing part of me is pissed at myself; one, for not listening or even asking for Sam's side about the fight (even if she'll probably just say the counterpart of Carly's although with Carly to blame). And two, for making her cry like that.

Not once, have I ever seen 'the great' Samantha Puckett cry. To be honest it was somewhat unsettling. She looked so pained and vulnerable, so, so vulnerable.

I sighed, I was here. I went inside the lobby and saw that Lewbert wasn't there. I was glad, I don't think I could handle anymore shouting for the rest of the day.

I sighed and walked inside the elevator and looked at the buttons. I had an inner conflict on whether or not I should go to Carly's and Spencer's apartment, which was her old one (She was only here for the vacation, she would be going back to New Hampshire when school resumes), or to head straight to my apartment which is just a floor above.

I decided to at least go check on her before heading up to my apartment.

I clicked on the little circular 8, closing my eyes as I gave myself to the feeling of the little square room moving up multiple floors. I opened my eyes again when a little chime alerted me that I have arrived at the 8th floor.

I knocked on their door and invited myself in.

I saw Spencer standing on the kitchen looking at the counter but Carly was nowhere in sight.

"Hey Spence. Where's Carly?" I said as I made my way across the living room.

"She's up at her room." He said not taking his eyes off of the kitchen counter.

"Wutcha got there?" I asked as I looked over his shoulder. I saw a goldfish with its belly up at the surface of the water. "Oh…"

"I'm gonna go give him a funeral." Spencer muttered as he took the cup of water and went to his room.

I sighed, Spencer and his love for goldfishes.

* * *

I made my way up the stairs two steps at a time and knocked at Carly's door.

I opened the door and was greeted by a sight I wasn't expecting.

Carly was lying down on her bed watching TV with a bowl of popcorn.

Not that the scene wasn't normal, but, I guess I was just expecting the same situation she is with Sam. She doesn't even look fazed by their fight.

"Uhm, hey Carls." I said as I took a step into her room. Everywhere you look the only colors you would see was pink and purple.

"What's up?" She asked as she casually placed a hand at her thigh, that was when I noticed that she was probably dressed for bed.

"Nothing, I just wanted to check on how you were doing." I muttered, my eyes finally flicking back to meet hers, she looked strangely triumphant.

"Thanks for the concern, Freddie. But I'm feeling fine." She smiled.

"Oh, okay then. It's just that Sam isn't taking things so well so I was wondering if you were feeling the same." I said nervously unconsciously rubbing the back of my neck.

"She should feel bad. She hurt me really bad Freddie." Her voice went sweet, too sweet, at the end of the sentence, in complete contrast to the harsh way she started it.

Something didn't seem right… my mind whispered to me. My eyes were drawn to her hand, which was rubbing slow circles at her thigh. Ugh. Stop it Freddie.

You have a girlfriend.

_Who practically broke up with you moments ago._

Stupid inner conflicts. "Aren't you even going to do anything about it? You don't seem to be that fazed from that fact that your best friendship was just destroyed."

"She's not my friend anymore Freddie. I despise her for what she's done." I could tell by the deadly tone in her voice that she wasn't just talking about the fight.

"I don't get it Carly. You don't act like this. What's up?" I said suspiciously.

"Nothing's up Freddie. I've just been thinking that it's down to the two of us now. Just like how it's supposed to be." She whispered somewhat seductively.

"…_just the two of us now…"_the phrase keeps on repeating in my head. It was like a dream come true. But there was still something not right…

"…_just like how it's supposed to be…"_ That's when it clicked.

"You planned this. You started the fight." I said, shocked. Sam… Sam was…

"It doesn't matter anymore Freddie. She's gone from our lives." She muttered.

"Stop!" I shouted at her. I could see her visibly flinch. "I don't know who you are anymore."

With that I left her room, slamming the door behind me.

"I heard loud noises!" Spencer said as I got down the stairs.

I just looked at him, my anger towards Carly and myself must've shown on my face because his face immediately turned grim.

I left the apartment without saying a word.

* * *

I was in an angered faze as I made my way up to my apartment. Once there I let all of my anger go.

I shouted at nothing. Just voicing out my anger.

I punched whatever my fist would come in contact with.

Nothing worked. I fell to my knees gripping my hair tightly.

The 3rd part of me was now dominating, looking at me smugly…

…telling me that he was right, I should have trusted Sam.

* * *

**Oh Freddie…**


End file.
